Increase in Divorce cases in Africa
As the popular saying goes, he who finds a wife, finds a good thing. But with the alarming increase in the rate of divorce cases in Africa, one is tempted to ask if the above cliché still holds any meaning. Why is there an increase in the divorce rate? Has the institution of marriage outlived its purpose? What could be done to remedy this budding menace in our society?
Before delving into discussions about the causes of divorce and ways to remedy the crimson scorge, let’s discuss a little bit about marriage and its purpose.
Marriage among individuals is nature’s plan to preserve humanity. It is an institution that originally required a man and woman to live as husband and wife to beget children. In recent times, marriage has metamorphosed to include people of identical genders living together as husband and wife with the liberty of adopting children if they so desire. This new form of marriage is popular in Europe and North America but largely unaccepted in Asia and Africa.
Marriage Framework and Causes of Divorce
Marriage as an institution is not an easy task, it is a call to duty. It goes beyond the optics and aesthetics displayed on social media. To excel in marriage, one must be seen to be physically, mentally and financially ready to face the inevitable challenges that accompany marriage. Most divorces are caused by a lack of preparedness. Young people often go into marriage thinking the institution is all bed of roses, but a few years into it, the union begin to crack, which ultimately ends up in divorce.
To succeed in marriage, intending couples are expected to fit into certain profiles or conditions. These conditions are not rigid, some couples fail to meet these profiles and go on to have a blissful marriage. However, a high rate of success in marriage has been traced to people who fit into this profile.
Age Difference in Marriage
Age at marriage can be a defining factor. In the past, in African homes, there was usually a significant age gap between a husband and wife. African men of the 20th century married women much younger than themselves. The women were usually between 5 and 10 years younger than their husbands. It is thought that this significant age gap between the husband and wife in the past contributed greatly to the high rate of success in marriage.
Also, read: Does True love actually exist?
Here is the logic: when a woman is much younger than her husband, she accords the husband the kind of respect she accords her father. And Africans are known to be respectful to elders, so the young wife, by default, is expected to show great respect to the husband.
On the other hand, if a man marries a woman within the same age bracket, he doesn’t enjoy as much respect, and this could have a significant impact on the marriage. The logic is that, unlike the marriage with a significant age gap, in this case, the woman sees are husband as her brother and fails to accord the husband the respect necessary for an African home to thrive. Respect is very necessary in African homes, and most marriages that thrive have been shown to enjoy abundant mutual respect.
Most marriages of recent times have encountered challenges that led to the dissolution of the union because the couples do not meet the age-difference profile. We hear stories of how people fell in love in high school or college and ended up getting married. While these stories are beautiful and pleasing to the ears, many of such stories fail to stand the test of time.
Again, the age-difference profile in marriage is not rigid, as we have seen some cases where the wife is much older than the husband and the marriage thrived and was successful.
But in African homes, marriages that have men significantly older than their wives are more likely to succeed than the ones where couples are within the same age bracket.
Two Captains cannot sail a ship
Another leading cause of divorce in African homes is the excessive civilization of African women. The education of African girls is very important and has enormous benefits. Its importance cannot be over-emphasized, however, the excessive civilization of the African girl child has had some inadvertent consequences in African homes.
The cliché that ‘what men can do, women can do better’ has had some dire effects in African homes. Some African women no longer seek to play the supportive role in marriage. They seek to take charge and become equal stakeholders in the marriage. This western form of marriage is alien to the African home. In Africa, marriages usually follow a religious setting, whether Christian or Islam where the man is the head and the woman offer support to the man in raising their kids. But in recent times, especially with the turn of the 21st century, things have taken a different turn as Africans abandon their conventional ways of marriage in pursuit of Western civilization. This has led to an increase in divorce cases in Africa.
Template for Marriage to Avoid Divorce
Are there working templates people can follow when seeking life partners? A template to lead a happy life devoid of separation? Well, why nothing is guaranteed in life, I have come up with some measures/templates that, when properly applied, can help Africans have lasting marriages.
Firstly, when seeking a life partner, the first thing every man must learn is self-awareness. A man must know himself well. He must understand his strengths and weaknesses and set out goals he seeks to achieve in life. The next step is to enlist the qualities he wants in a woman. Any man with self-awareness and who knows what he wants in a woman has already solved 50% of his problems. When choosing a life partner, please do well to look beyond the aesthetics and go for women who are level-headed and ready to sacrifice resources and time to build a home with you.
With regard to intelligence and emotions, you would find the following formulas useful.
- Intelligent Husband + Intelligent Wife = High Risk Marriage
- Emotional Husband + Intelligent Wife = Low Risk Marriage
- Intelligent Husband + Emotional Wife = Good Marriage
- Emotional husband + Emotional wife = Very Good Marriage
The formulas above are self-explanatory. A marriage between a man and a woman who are highly intelligent and both like to have their ways is a high-risk marriage, as both partners would likely have frequent clashes of interest.
In the second formula, where the man is emotional, he tends to tolerate the excessiveness of the woman who might always want to have her way in decision making. This marriage is low-risk and tends to stand the test of time.
Thirdly, when the woman is emotional, it fits the conventional African scope of marriage, where she is expected to be a pillar of support to the husband, who is by default the head of the family. This marriage is rated good and likely to last a very long time.
The last formula is a match made in heaven. Both parties are emotional and often takes the feelings of their spouse into consideration. While nothing is perfect in life, this union is close to perfection and likely to last forever.
If properly followed, the above formula would help mitigate the divorces cases in Africa.
